All I See is Where I Am, and Everywhere I'm Not

And for just a moment, everything was perfect. I took in the way the Christmas tree displayed my childhood memories, the way the French doors lit up with warm, fuzzy strings of lights. The way the setting sun set the sky ablaze, the snowflakes shimmering and dying out again. These days, things were less than okay. But in that moment, I was okay. And that's all that matters. I framed that moment in my head; the picture reminded me of the hope I have for the future. 

Tell Your New Friends, No One Knows You Like I Do

For a second, I caught your eye but I kept my head down to avoid the resurfacing past. I expected you to continue walking like every other time I passed you, but instead you turned around and started to talk to me. I'm not sure what was more shocking- how familiar the hue of your eyes was, or that you went out of your way to speak with me. 

I Hope You Like The Stars I Stole For You

And as the rain falls like shattered pieces of glass from the sky, we bleed like watercolors and drunken pastels down stairways. 

Wake Me Up When September Ends

The tip of your nose is red and your cheeks are chilled from the cool autumn air. Dense, pewter clouds overlap each other, blanketing the sky. You take in a full breath of that comforting chilly air as your feet crunch over orange leaves. You lean your head back, admiring the way the orange and golden leaves seem to glow against the drab sky. The air has a certain scent that awakens you to the rich feeling of fall. Your hand grasps the cold metal doorknob, and you lean against the door. Your stomach growls in want; the warm, safe house smells like meat and potatoes that have been stewing in the crockpot all day. 

You looked at me like that for the first time today, and my stomach tied itself in knots. You kill me, in a good way. 

I miss blogging already, but I am way too busy with school. What. 

Can We Create Something Beautiful, And Destroy It?

"What?" I asked you, trying to read the emotion in your eyes. It was hard to make eye contact in the shady hallway. The piano keys seemed to glow in the dark. I expected you to hesitate, but instead you quickly answered me. "Are you destroying your life?" Your face was full of meaning. My quick reply was "no" because that was the truth and those days are over. The more I think about it, the more I'm wrong and I wonder how you could see deeper than I could. 

Because It's Getting Colder, Yeah My Summer's Over

My favorite week of the whole year is over. I'm left with amazing memories that will last me through the stressful school year. The better, stress-free part of my summer is over. Now I have to worry about preparing for school and my summer homework. You'd think I'd be used to it because this is my third year of high school, but to be honest, I'm nervous. I'm scared. Nothing in my life is solid anymore except for my faith. Going into the hardest year of high school without feeling secure makes me worry. I miss the memories I made, the carefree days spent by the lake. Change sucks. Sometimes all you can do with certain situations is stare and say, "well, this sucks," and wait for it to blow over. I've pulled through countless times before, and there's not a doubt in my mind things will get better again. The changes will slow down, my life will become more solid again. Nothing lasts forever. 

With Heaven Above You There's Hell Over Me

We both stare at the same moon. I stare up at it as it brilliantly glistens off of my eyes, but you're not here to admire it. The warm twilight breeze sifts through my hair as I swing my legs off the porch railing. A lonesome dog howls at the drunken moon, and if it were socially acceptable, I would sing along. These are the nights I tell myself to savor the feeling because I know I'll miss it come winter. When you lean your head back and gaze up at the ember sky, whose face do you see? 

Pour Me A Heavy Dose Of Atmosphere

I've found that the only way to really feel peace is through sitting in the middle of my country road at night. There's something about 13 million fireflies over an open field and the silhouettes of distant houses as the horizon fades out to black from orange. The road is warm against my back and the stars are revealing themselves. I inhale cool, misty night air. The last time I felt so peaceful was last summer, walking the beach with my cousin. That vacation comes in ten days. Until then, if you need me, I'll be out watching the night turn light blue. 

Don't, Don't, Don't Wake Me Up, 'Cause Now My Thrill Is Gone

You haven't given him a thought in almost a month, which was also the last time you saw him. A twinge of guilt prods at your subconscious mind as you think to yourself that you don't even want to see him. Maybe it was the dark times you both shared that talking to him reminds you too much of. Or maybe it's how he's just not the same as he was two years ago. Two years of high school can change a lot. But it's more than what you can handle. He speaks to you after a month of silence, and you wonder why you find yourself wishing you were elsewhere. It hurts you to think of letting go, but at the same time simply being friends is too painful. Usually smells or songs trigger bad memories. But this time, it's a friendship. The same friendship that has stayed your one constant over the past ten years. For the first time, you question the only solid and true thing in your life. 

Last Night, I Fell In Love Without You

Some things don't last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down on the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there. There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying. Everyone has their weak spot. The one thing that, despite your best efforts, will always bring you to your knees, regardless of how strong you are otherwise.

I'm Playing For An Audience Of One

Sometimes I lay on my couch and wish I was wherever you are. Look outside, those fireflies are the twinkle in your eye when you see her face, and not mine. You deserve the best.

And Look For The Stars As The Sun Goes Down

The sky is a masterpiece, the grey clouds overlapping a backdrop of yellow clouds masking the setting sun. The yellow isn't solid, it carries more of a hue she would call heaven. It is a mellow baby yellow, but the setting sun softly shines through in the background to make a brilliant gold shade. The shining gold and baby yellow weave through each other like silk ribbon. She sits in the backyard, looking up at the yellow. She envisions herself taking a utility knife and ripping the clouds down the middle just like a canvas. She crawls through the slit and crosses over into whatever world was beyond this one. It didn't matter where the beyond is, she is positive it trumps the drab world in which she resides. She is overcome with the nostalgia she had become addicted to. Home is what she longs for. simply being at home puts her worries aside; it was blissful perfection. She closes her eyes and dreams of better days.

Overcast, These Gloomy Nights Wear On.

You close your eyes and the image replays for the 39th time since 1am. The image of your hand intertwined in his. Outside is the unfamiliar backyard which they call home but means nothing to you. You toss and turn in a strange hotel room while I try not to think about you, but hey, it never would have worked out anyway. You sharply inhale the scent of Pink Chiffon, reminiscent of freshman year when you were ignorant to the lurking depths of the world. Who knew that nostalgia could be an addiction? It literally takes over your life. Living in the moment is alien, harsh, yet invigorating all at the same time.