I Lost My Footing Trying To Get Home Last Winter

I need spring. Every year, winter sucks me deeper into depression than I already am. I told myself this winter would be different, but this winter has been the worst yet. Everything dies in winter; as do I. Everything comes back to life in spring; my mind is no exception. 

I just need something to give me hope again. 

I suppose the 60 degree weather thaws out the deepest recesses of my soul; it breathes hope into me again. 

Something about sitting on the grass outside of school after play practice, watching the afternoon sun transition into a blazing evening sunset. Something about the way the sun finds its way in through my skin and sinks down into my bones. Something about the way the air brings light back into your dull eyes, you genuinely smile at me like you haven't in a long time, you have a will to get better again and so do I. 

All I See is Where I Am, and Everywhere I'm Not

And for just a moment, everything was perfect. I took in the way the Christmas tree displayed my childhood memories, the way the French doors lit up with warm, fuzzy strings of lights. The way the setting sun set the sky ablaze, the snowflakes shimmering and dying out again. These days, things were less than okay. But in that moment, I was okay. And that's all that matters. I framed that moment in my head; the picture reminded me of the hope I have for the future. 

Tell Your New Friends, No One Knows You Like I Do

For a second, I caught your eye but I kept my head down to avoid the resurfacing past. I expected you to continue walking like every other time I passed you, but instead you turned around and started to talk to me. I'm not sure what was more shocking- how familiar the hue of your eyes was, or that you went out of your way to speak with me. 

I Hope You Like The Stars I Stole For You

And as the rain falls like shattered pieces of glass from the sky, we bleed like watercolors and drunken pastels down stairways. 

Wake Me Up When September Ends

The tip of your nose is red and your cheeks are chilled from the cool autumn air. Dense, pewter clouds overlap each other, blanketing the sky. You take in a full breath of that comforting chilly air as your feet crunch over orange leaves. You lean your head back, admiring the way the orange and golden leaves seem to glow against the drab sky. The air has a certain scent that awakens you to the rich feeling of fall. Your hand grasps the cold metal doorknob, and you lean against the door. Your stomach growls in want; the warm, safe house smells like meat and potatoes that have been stewing in the crockpot all day. 

You looked at me like that for the first time today, and my stomach tied itself in knots. You kill me, in a good way. 

I miss blogging already, but I am way too busy with school. What.